46 AND 2 THERAPY

It took Kelsea about 10 years of intermittent listening to her favorite band before she realized how impactful the bad was to her. We understand, that may sound strange, so we'll explain. After being introduced to this band by a previous partner and seeing them live in 2009, she didn't listen to TOOL music all that often. She could relate to some of the messages in the lyrics, the emotion behind the words but the music and some of their fans were intimidating and she was judged by others who didn't share in her enjoyment of them, making her feel the need to hide her interest. Not to mention their music videos that made her feel uncomfortable! Her artistic lens hadn't yet developed so she didn't fully "get it" yet.

Over time however, she found that when she was experiencing a big emotion, feeling stuck or lost, angered or overwhelmed, without even thinking about it, she'd intuitively return to TOOL music during her process time. For example, she might listen to a song or an album in one sitting, or over a week, and often not listen again for another year or so. Long story short, it took her about 10 years of this practice until she realized that this band and their energy, with the insane drumming of Danny Carey and the resonant lyrics sung by Maynard, their evolution and processing of emotions expressed through their music and their own growth journey, moved some healing energies within her that deeply inspired her and became her favorite of all time. She still remembers the day she realized with some bewilderment, "Holy crap, I'm a TOOL  fan!"

In retrospect, this band has undeniably had the most impact on her own growth and development compared to any others (with the Grateful Dead being a close runner up).  At times, it's been her own form of therapy and has inspired her to keep going, "keep digging" in order to help herself and to be better fit to support others.

So, with all that being said, 46 and 2 is the title of the song that she most resonates with in regards to why she's chosen to become a therapist. It's her "therapist's anthem" song, if you will. And to explain the idea behind the numbers (46 and 2) this unknown person from an online forum, "Oberones" says it best:

"Basically, it's believed that there are three levels of human evolution and each has its form of consciousness. There's the 1st level with 42 and 2 sex chromosomes. These are primitive peoples like the aboriginals in Australia who do not perceive anything outside of themselves. They only see one large consciousness with no distinguishment between organisms. Then there's the second level with 44 and 2 sex chromosomes. That is us. We are a chaotic disharmonic consciousness that is basically used as a stepping stone between the first and third levels. The third level is 46 and 2 sex chromosones. This is the higher level of consciousness. Our destination. This is where the Jungian theory comes in. It is believed that you can not reach this third level of evolution without first delving into yourself and basically cleansing your consciousness for the next jump."

Regardless of the actual science and factuality behind this theory, she's inspired by the metaphor as it's her passion in this world to help do her part to help bring humanity to it's next level of human potential.

Have a read of the lyrics below if you'd like:

 

Join in my
Join in my child
And listen, digging through
My old numb shadow

My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking scabs again
I'm down, digging through
My old muscles looking for a clue

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in
I want to feel the changes coming down
I want to know what I've been hiding

In my shadow
My shadow
Change is coming through my shadow
My shadow
Shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again

Join in my
Join in my child
My shadow's
Closer to meaning

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
Insecure delusions
I wanna feel the change consume me
Feel the outside turning in
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured in

My shadow
My shadow
Change is coming
Now is my time
Listen to my muscle memory
Contemplate what I've been clinging to
Forty six and two ahead of me

I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through

I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through

See my shadow changing
Stretching up and over me
Soften this old armor
Hoping I can clear the way by
Stepping through my shadow
Coming out the other side
Step into the shadow
Forty six and two are just ahead of me

-Thanks for reading!

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